Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
ttyl tear gas
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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