I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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