it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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