I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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