Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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