mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
