"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
