I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
