You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
