five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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