can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
