great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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