We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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