i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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