either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
