Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You may now shotgun with the bride
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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