Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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