I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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