I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We had to coat check the pizza.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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