Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
