doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
