thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.