12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?