Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
