So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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