They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
