this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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