i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize