I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize