i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
