ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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