my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
