Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The struggles of a small town man whore
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
