i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
