one two three fourrrrnication!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize
