What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
