The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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