got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
