Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
