well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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