At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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