Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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