But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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