She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
