the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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