Who wears a wallet chain?!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
it was like eating out sand paper
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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