He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
