im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
