I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
