i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
