I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's shark week go big or go home
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
