my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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