Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
