pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
