I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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