Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
