K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
