Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
