I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
