one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My feet surprised me
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