Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize